I’ll be honest, I used to shy away from telling people my age. I can’t seem to pin point exactly why that is. Maybe it was because I was denial at how old I was getting, or perhaps it was because I married someone 10 years my junior (cougar alert!), and hated having to justify myself (not that it’s anyone’s business). Or it could be that I really never did feel my age and always felt younger than I was so I didn’t feel comfortable admitting the actual number.
Well, now that I just turned 42 (I still can’t believe I’m in my 40’s), I’ve decided I’m just going to own it. I love the fact that I am more immature than my husband who is 10 years younger than me. I love that people often mistake me for being in my 30’s. And I especially love that in my forties, I’ve grown to not care what people think! It’s actually pretty liberating.
This time of my life is honestly the most secure and confident I’ve ever been. My twenties was spent self-loathing and criticizing everything wrong with me and figuring out what and who I am in this world. My thirties was dedicated to getting married, having kids, working on my career and building a life. In my forties, I’ve found my purpose and realized what I’m amazing at and how I can use my talent and gift to serve others.
It’s true what they say, you can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself. And boy, I have learned to love myself, flaws and all. In my forties, I LOVE ME!
I reflect on my twenties a lot. And it’s because it was a time in my life where I felt lost, insecure and unsure about where my life was heading. I didn’t truly love myself the way I should have and the way I let others treat me reflected that.
If I could go back in time and talk to my twenty something self. Here’s what I would tell her….
- The things you will cherish the most in life doesn’t come in the form of material things.
- Be weary of “friends” who don’t share in your successes and accomplishments. If they aren’t happy for you during your good times, just imagine how they’ll be during your worst.
- Surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better person. You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose your environment and your friends wisely.
- Drink more water. Keep active. Eat healthy. Take care of your body now and your forty something self will thank you for it.
- Never ignore your gut instincts! There’s a reason you have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Don’t turn a blind eye to it.
- Put yourself first. This is the time to be selfish. Do things that YOU want to do and forget what other people think. Once you have a career, get married and have kids, time for yourself will be few and far between.
- Thank the haters. Use their negativity to fuel the fire within you to be better.
- Take calculated risks. Or you’ll always wonder, “what if?”. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a different city, in a different country? Got for it, trust me.
- Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel with whoever you can find to travel with. And if no-one is to be found, travel alone. Travel is the most educational, eye opening and life changing experience you will ever have.
- As Nike says, Just Do It! Stop procrastinating and finding a million excuses not to do what you set out to do. Time is something you’ll never get back so stop wasting it and treat it like your most prized possesion. Its so simple…JUST DO IT.
- Love yourself. You are a strong, resilient woman and you are going to have the life you want one day. But for now, just know that you are enough.
- One day you will find a wonderful man and have beautiful children. Be patient. You have your own timeline.