Today Rowell and I celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary. 7 YEARS!!!!
November 21, 2009 was day that changed my life forever.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a chilly but sunny day in San Diego and what I had thought would be an anxiety, stress filled day, it wasn’t. It was probably the most calm I’ve been in a situation where all eyes would be on me. We were surrounded by family and friends supporting us on the most important day of our lives. The day went by so fast! It was a whirlwind and while the whole day was special, my most favorite moment was when it was just Rowell and I in the car on the way to the reception. We had time between our ceremony which took place in a church in La Jolla and our reception in Coronado. Our wonderful driver popped open a bottle of champagne for us and drove around San Diego for a good hour. It was then I realized I was now married woman.
It was the happiest day of my life.
Fast forward 7 years later and we are still here and partners in life! We have accomplished so much together in these 7 years. We bought our first home, completed new degrees, earned professional certifications, advanced in our careers, I became a U.S. citizen, we moved to a new city and we have 2 beautiful children, our best accomplishments to date!
People ask me what our secret is to a healthy marriage. My answer is always this. At the very core of our relationship, we are friends first. We genuinely like each other. Not just as husband and wife but as friends and forever partners in everything we do in life. Even at his worst (or my worst for that matter), can I imagine my life without him? No way. Or better yet, do I still feel confident in my relationship, even when I’m at my worst? Absolutely. I can be my true self with him and he will still love me. There is nothing more comforting than being able to just be you.
I mean, we have seen each others lowest points and its been tough at times, not going to lie. No marriage is sunshine and roses all the time. I believe that challenges are what help strengthen a marriage because it forces you to figure things out together. Rowell and I are different in many ways. Our personalities are complete opposites. I’m high strung and type A and he is waaaay more relaxed than me. Certain things that drive me absolutely nuts, he could care less about. But I think this is what makes our relationship work. We feed off of each others differences. He allows me to see a different perspective on things and I do the same for him. If you know me, you know that I can be extremely stubborn and set in my ways. Rowell is not. He is probably the most adaptable person I know and just goes with the flow. Sometimes this drives me crazy! But most times, I just try to be more like him.
We both drive each other nuts sometimes. But at the end of the day, I ask myself, “is there anyone else i want to go on this crazy ride with?” and the answer is, NO! We bring out the best in each other and push each other to achieve things that we thought were impossible. We are best friends and there is no-one else we trust more than each other. There is no secret or magic trick to a successful marriage. You just have to really like the other person and trust each other. That’s it.
When I feel disconnected from of the busyness of our lives, I always remind myself that it started with just the two of us and it will end with just the two of us.
My goal for us this year is to have more alone time, just him and I. The past couple of years it has been completely about the kids, especially with the move and us having Emilia. This year, I want to focus on more date nights and being diligent every day to be more present in our marriage.
7 years has flown by so quickly and I’m excited for what the future has in store for us.